Don't Steal My Gainz

No matter how much time you spend in the gym, the world will try to steal your gainz the minute you walk out of it.

You think I am crazy?

Here are 5 quick examples.

1. The Guy Who Wants To Snow Blow My Sidewalk

I know you mean well, but I take it as a personal offense when you offer to use your toys to clear my sidewalk.

Grown men don't play with toys.

They pick up shovels and go to work.

Period.

Much Respect to this future Toughman Winner

2. The Guy Who Brings in Bagels for his Birthday

Just because it is your birthday, it doesn't mean you get the right to force simple carbohydrates down my throat.

Want me to celebrate your birthday?  Bring this in ...

3. The Guy Who Puts the Heat On in the Car

I take cold showers and wear an ice vest in my house.

Why do you think I would want to drive around with you in a hot car?

You might as tell me it's your birthday and make me eat a dozen bagels.

If you are driving with me, expect these conditions.

4. The Guy Who Takes Food Off My Plate

I will give you the shirt off my back.

I will buy you a second dinner.

But please ... please ... please do not take food off of my plate.

Why should I be short on my caloric intake because you aren't happy with your meal choice?

Be an adult and eat your own food. You made a decision, now deal with it.

It's not gonna happen little guy ...

5. The Last Bit of Protein That Won't Come Out of My Jug

At the bottom of every protein jug, there is about 10g of protein powder that refuses to come out cleanly. 

Despite my attempts to surgically remove it from the jug and place it in my shaker, it usually ends up on my floor and then in my dog's mouth.

Man's best friend? I think not ...

Keep dropping the protein brah ...